The new year

Well, Happy new year, I am still not so sure how I feel about it, I was really excited at first and was ready for a fresh start. However, now I am not so sure, it seems that a lot of things are hitting me that I wasn't ready for and I'm not sure if I am going to know how to handle them.  My eating issues seem to be doing a little better, but they were going downhill again for a week or so.  I can't tell if it is because of stress or if depression is just eating away at me.  I won't lie this time of year really gets the best of me and I am running out of ideas on how to stay positive!  Its really getting hard, every time I look around the corner there is a new challenge or road block in my way.  I wish life was easy or at least fair, but I know it is neither. I don't know what the rest of this month is going to bring but I do hope that it brings some control and a little bit of a change because for once in my life I am begging for something, I'm just not sure what yet.

It never ends
Running, running,
But never looking back
Searching, searching for something more
Where is it?
Where is the face I see in my dreams?
I need you, the dreams don't stop
I keep running
Your face is all I see
But where are you?
I'm so lost
I'm so tired
My faith is dying, my heart is aching
I need you
I won't stop running
I won't stop searching
I will follow my dreams.

happy new year.

Well,  I guess its a new year, a lot of people set resolutions and all sorts of ideas in their head about them having a better year than the past.  I however am not doing that,  I would like this year to be so much better than the last, at the same time I don't regret anything that happened in the last year because I have learned a great many lessons!  I just hope that I can remember them so I don't make the same mistakes again. I really am honestly nervous about his new year,  it seems like its going to be a hard one, I don't know why I feel like this maybe because of some of the ideas I have in my head about changing my life in some little ways.  I will share maybe tomorrow some of the things I want to work on, though I'm sure they are really obvious.  I just hope that somehow I can have the strength.